Be kind to yourself: embrace the power of self-compassion

Does this feeling sound familiar? You scroll through social media and see nothing but perfect pictures of successful people, you feel the pressure to perform and suddenly your own life seems less good.

We are often our own harshest critic and judge ourselves severely for mistakes and shortcomings. But what would happen if we approached ourselves and the world around us with more gentleness? Can we see our mistakes as learning moments, embrace our vulnerability and show compassion for ourselves and others?

What is self-compassion?

Self-compassion has nothing to do with self-pity or passivity. It is about actively caring for our emotional and physical wellbeing. Self-compassion helps build resilience and is a powerful way of dealing with stress. It means acknowledging difficult and painful feelings and taking action to ease the pain, instead of pushing it away or judging yourself.

The three main pillars of self-compassion are:

Kindness: you are willing to take care of yourself and to talk back to your inner critic. If you would not say it to a friend, do not say it to yourself either.

Common humanity: pain is a normal, human experience. Everyone is in pain sometimes. By recognizing the pain and vulnerability of others, you feel less alone.

Mindfulness: mindfulness is about tolerating uncomfortable or painful feelings in a non-judgemental way, so that you can take some distance from them. "I feel what I feel, but I am not the same as this experience."

How can you practise self-compassion?

Here are some examples of self-compassion you can build into your daily life. Try writing them down or saying them out loud in front of a mirror:

• It is OK to make mistakes, nobody is perfect.
• It is not selfish to be kind to myself.
• I will try not to doubt or judge myself.
• I am allowed to say no to others and yes to myself.
• Change is not easy, but it is easier if I am a little gentler with myself.
• There is no such thing as failure, only learning moments.

Self-compassion contributes to a better and healthier self-image, so be sure to give it a chance and experience for yourself what it does for you. Not yet fully convinced to make self-compassion a priority this year? Or could you use some help to become gentler with yourself? At BloomUp you can always talk online with a psychologist or therapist, wherever and whenever you like.