Do you recognize that feeling? You scroll through social media and see only perfect pictures of successful people, you feel the pressure to perform and your own life suddenly seems less good.
We are often our own harshest critic and judge ourselves harshly for mistakes and shortcomings. But what would happen if we approached ourselves and the world around us with more leniency? Could we see our mistakes as learning moments, embrace our vulnerability and show compassion for ourselves and others?
What is mildness?
Gentleness is not self-pity or passivity. It is about actively taking care of our emotional and physical well-being. Mildness helps build resilience and is a powerful coping tool. Mildness means acknowledging difficult and painful feelings and taking action to ease the pain, rather than pushing it away or condemning yourself.
The three main pillars of mildness are:
Kindness: you are willing to take care of yourself and contradict your inner critic. If you wouldn't say it to a friend, don't say it to yourself.
Humanity: pain is a normal, human experience. Everyone experiences pain from time to time. Recognizing the pain and vulnerability of others makes you feel less alone.
Mindfulness: mindfulness is about tolerating uncomfortable/painful feelings in a non-judgmental way so that you can take some distance from them. "I feel what I feel, but I don't coincide with this experience."
How can you practice mildness?
Here are some examples of mildness that you can incorporate into your daily life. Try writing them down or saying them out loud in front of a mirror:
- It's okay to make mistakes; no one is perfect.
- It is not selfish to be kind to myself.
- I will try not to doubt myself or condemn myself.
- I get to say no to others and yes to myself.
- Changing is not easy, but it is easier when I am more gentle with myself.
- There is no such thing as failure, only learning moments.
Mildness contributes to a better and healthier self-image, so definitely give it a chance and experience for yourself what it does to you. Not quite convinced yet to make mildness a priority this year? Could you use some help to become more gentle with yourself? Then BloomUp is the place to go for an online conversation with a psychologist or therapist, whenever and wherever you want.
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