How do you deal with grief, at work and beyond?

We start November with a moment of remembrance. From All Saints' Day to All Souls' Day, Día de los Muertos and similar holidays in other cultures, this is a period when people around the world remember and honour loved ones who have died. These holidays put the spotlight on the importance of processing grief.

Dealing with grief is not self-evident, but it is a necessary process, and it still turns out to be a difficult subject to talk about in our society. We often do not really know how to react, or what to say and do, when we see or experience loss. How do you deal with grief, at work and beyond? In this blog we explain what grief is and how you, as an individual and as an organization, can support people who are grieving.

What is grief?

Grief is an emotional reaction to losing someone or something of great meaning to you, which you also feel emotionally connected to. We often think of losing a person, but grief can take many forms. Think of losing a job, a relationship ending, getting bad news about your health, a dream or expectation that cannot come true, or a demotion.

When someone or something important to you falls away, different emotions come up. Common feelings are sadness, anger, denial, guilt, loneliness, confusion and sometimes even relief. These emotional reactions can have a big impact on our body and daily functioning. You may feel very tired, or have trouble sleeping or concentrating, headaches or stomach complaints, ... A grieving process is unique for everyone, and there is no fixed timeline or set of rules for how someone deals with grief.

Grieving at work

Processing grief means dealing with and working through the emotions that come with loss. You cannot simply switch this process on and off whenever it suits you best. That is why grief has a big impact on an employee's performance and functioning. As a colleague and as an organization, you play an important role in supporting this process.

As a colleague and as an organization, you can play an important role in supporting this process. Here are some tips that can help you deal with grief.

As a colleague

1. Listen actively and without judgement: Listen to the grieving person without judging or giving advice. Give them room to talk about their feelings and memories.
2. Dare to ask how you can help: Ask whether you can help with work-related tasks, or offer support with daily responsibilities. That gives your colleague room to grieve.
3. Show empathy: Show that you understand the situation. You can do this with small gestures such as a card, a hug, or simply by being there and listening.
4. Respect boundaries: Respect your colleague's boundaries. Some people may not want to talk about their grief at work. Give them the space they need.
5. Grief is a long process: Offer support over time and ask regularly how they are doing. Even if things seem to be going better.

As an organization

1. Implement a bereavement policy: Put a policy in place that supports the wellbeing of grieving employees. This can be part of the absence policy and can include flexible leave arrangements, counselling or other supportive measures. That way you break the taboo around grief, loss and sadness, and answer the questions that grief and loss bring.
2. Training and awareness: Raise awareness of grief and train your managers and employees in how they can support grieving colleagues.
3. Flexibility at work: Be flexible towards grieving employees, for example by adjusting working hours or offering the option to work from home.
4. Create a supportive culture: Create an environment that encourages open communication and empathy. This can lay the foundation for mutual understanding and support. Live these values yourself too, so people feel more able to cope.
5. Offer external support: Point employees to external sources of support such as therapists, grief groups or other professional help.

By dealing with grief in an appropriate way and offering good support, you help your employee process a loss. This gives your employee room to express their emotions and find a place for them. Do you need a conversation, or are you an organization looking for support in dealing with grief? BloomUp is happy to help.